Sober

In the last few years one of the hardest decisions I've had to make is choosing to not drink alcohol anymore. Not because I miss it or anything like that but purely because of the drinking culture and society here. Here everyone drinks, it is the norm, its what you do, its part of growing up.

We're all around it from a young age, our parents go to the pub and all of us kids play outside on the field. And whenever someone had a party or at Christmas there was always alcohol around. My parents in no way had drinking problems in fact they barely drank at all, they just had one or two on big occasions. I remember always wanting to have a drop of champagne in my lemonade at Christmas so I could be 'one of the grown ups'.

Teenagers here start sneaking alcohol out and drinking it probably about 15 years old. However I know some people who were 12 or 13 when they first started drinking, not regularly but whenever they could get some. I think I was about 16 when I first started drinking. By that I mean having one or two Bacardi Breezers (alcopops) down the beach where we all used to go on Friday and Saturday nights.

I think my parents taught me very well about drinking and the dangers of it growing up. They never used to make it a big thing, they were open with me about it, and answered any questions I ever asked about it. If at big occasions they were there to look after me all the time they would let me have a sip of something not spirits though, just cider, larger or beer (all of which were gross!) so that I wouldn't feel like I was missing out and as a way to try and reduce it being seen as such a big thing that I had to run out and do as early as possible. I just had to ask and if they thought it was safe then they would let me have a sip and if they said no I knew it meant no and there was a reason for it.

I think that's part of the reason I started drinking later on than most people and I rarely drank to excess. Plus I've always been a huge mother hen so as soon as I see someone who's not well and has had too much to drink I always end up looking after them. So that stopped me too, because guaranteed there was always someone there who needed looking after. I don't mind looking after people at the end of the day that's just part of who I am, and its what I've decided to do for the rest of my life. However I do sometimes feel like some people take advantage of that fact. They know that as long as I'm there they will have someone to look after them. I also feel sometimes that I've missed out on things because of the amount of times I've had to leave somewhere early to take someone home. So sometimes I do get annoyed with it but I cant change how I am.

The biggest deciding factor that made me stop drinking was my job. I don't know how many times I have picked people up who have no idea where they are, how they got there, who they are and cant even hold themselves up and loose all control of their body. Its really scary to see, Especially when it's young girls, anything could happen to them. I sometimes wish I could film them and then show them the next day as a way of making them realize. But the sad thing is, is that they would probably find it funny, and just go out and do it again. How can they not learn! Its also a frustrating part of the job having to go to people who have got in that mess intentionally and continue to do it when we could be going and helping someone who actually needs up. I think people need to have a lot more education on the impact of them calling an ambulance has on the hospitals and on other people. I think that would help reduce the numbers of calls we go to and maybe even stop people from drinking quite so much and getting in such a bad way.

What makes me angry more than anything is people who think they have to drink in order to have fun. Whenever people say that I have to bite my tongue. It's ridiculous. Of course you can have fun without drinking, we all did it for the first how ever many years of our lives, we do it everyday when we don't drink. And I know I have had some pretty good times when I'm sober. Actually all of my favourite moments of my life have been when I was just with my friends and not a drop of alcohol in sight.

I haven't been an angel, far from it, especially when I was in University the first time around. I'd say 4 out of 7 nights we were out. My pre-drinking consisted of at least a bottle of wine and then I would spend about £40 when I was out. Looking back on it now it makes me feel sick. However I never ever got into the state where I had to rely on someone else to look after me, but still that is nothing to be proud of. It is just the thing to do in University. People don't go to the best University anymore or the one that will give them the best chance of a good degree, they go to the ones with the best student and social life.

Its still hard when I go out because all of my friends still drink and don't understand why I don't, so they try and get me to drink with them. At first I always found myself caving and having a drink then regretting it as soon as I had drunk it. Now however, I have got a backbone and don't feel bad saying to people 'No I don't drink anymore'. I think they have all also got used to me not drinking so don't even bother asking. It means they get a free lift now, so even if they do complain its not for very long.

A few of my friends used to say I only stopped drinking because of Mike (because he doesn't drink and has never tried it, (which is something I admire)). It is completely untrue. I had stopped drinking before I had even met Mike. When I came back from camp though I had matured alot and found that I was able to finally  stand up for myself. So that's when I started saying no and sticking to it. I can see why people think that though I suppose.

Now I know I can go out and have a great night with my friends, enjoy myself, laugh, dance and not wake up in the morning feeling like death, dreading to look at my bank balance and with all my memory intact knowing that I did not do anything I would regret. 

Flossy x