My trip to California.

You'd think I'd be quite good at packing by now, but nope I'm still terrible. I was just putting the last few things in my suitcase as I was leaving the house at 2am to catch my bus. With only 6 hours sleep the previous night I was absolutely shattered, I was planning on getting some sleep during my 5 hour bus journey to Gatwick Airport but I failed miserably.

Once I arrived at the airport my rushed packing turned around and bit me in the bum, I was 2kg over my allowance, but after discovering the faulty weighing scale was to blame my panic was over and I was free to go and raid duty free. If going on holiday isn't enough of a reason to be excited to be in a airport duty free is my cherry on top. This is because my favourite perfume 'Escada' is not available ANYWHERE at home so every time I go on holiday I stock up. It used to be super expensive and was my guilty pleasure but it was super cheap this time. I would have bought more than one bottle but I thought seen as Im going to be in a airport again in less than 40 days (SOOO EXCITED) I only bought one.

I've always enjoyed flying, I find it really exciting and I even like a bit of turbulence. But what I'm still not 100% keen on is the food. Its definitely getting better but it's still so touch and go that I always worry I'll starve so always always buy some sweeties to see me through. I was also very relieved my TV screen worked! After enduring a 9 hour flight before without a TV I am now very grateful every time it works. The flight went quite quickly. I watched 2 films: The Family Stone and The Help. They were both really good, I recommend watching them both, especially The Help. Its about black maids in the 1960's and the posh, rich white ladies who hire them and how the maids are treated. One of the upper class white ladies is a budding journalist who decides to interview the maids and try to get their voices heard and get equal rights for them. The maids are the ladies who raise the white children as their mum's are always too busy to do it. My favourite part of the movie was when one particular maid told the little girl she looked after everyday 'You is kind. You is smart. You is important.' I thought it was such a simple but effective and important thing to do. I absolutely loved the film and am so glad I got the chance to watch it. Being the big baby I am, I embarrassingly cried watching both. I didn't have a full blown break down, I covered it quite well but if I had been watching it in private the tears would have been flowing.
I spent a lot of the flight talking to my new friend who was an elderly gentleman sat next to me. Normally I dont talk to people on flights but this gentleman was amazing and we talked for ages. He was flying out to spend 6 months in Florida to 'escape' the British winter. I do not blame him. He was such a sweetie, we both raised our eyebrows and poked and prodded our food as it was placed infront of us then swapped between ourselves what we liked and didn't like. Then for desert we shared my sweets. While I was watching The Big Bang Theory, he started to play solitaire on his TV, I quickly noticed he did not know how he play. By the time we landed he was a pro, we played together then when he picked it up I left him too it, but every now and then he would tap me on my shoulder and ask for help. He just reinforced how much I love elderly people.
I had to catch a connecting flight from Charlotte in North Carolina. After saying goodbye to my new friend I quickly made a new one in the queue for customs. He was a 25yr old aspiring actor who was on his way to Vegas to shoot a show called 'Smoke'. He was also in a long distance relationship with a girl who lives in California. Its so nice being able to talk to someone in the same situation as me. Even though I can talk to my family, friends and of course Mike its nice to know that I'm not weird in some of the things I think and feel. It made the queue go super quick and after a few questions from the immigration officer, correctly finding my baggage and putting it on the right carousel for my next flight I was on the plane getting closer to Mike.
I cant even explain how nice a feeling it is to see and hug Mike again after being apart for so long. Its THE best feeling. If I could bottle up that feeling that would be incredible. I was absolutely starving so we made a quick little detour to Wendy's. Im not used to having so many Fast Food Restaurant options I'm used to only having 3. So I'm working my way through them all. And so far, I think Wendy's nuggets are my favourite. The rest of the evening was just going back, getting unpacked and having a well earned early night.

Day 2: I tried frozen yoghurt for the first time. Well actually not the first time I have tried it before and not liked it one bit, it's got a weird after taste. But Mike promised me that this yoghurt was different and it was. It was okay but still not as good as proper ice cream. I did like that you could put any toppings on it you wanted. Obviously I went for brownie and chocolate chips. A bit more chocolate wont hurt surely. Later that day Mike's basketball team he coaches had an away game so I started to work through my to watch list of films. I started off with Ted and The Inbetweeners. Not the greatest movies ever but easy watches and I did giggle quite a lot throughout them.

Day 3: I got to meet Mike's roommate, Mal in the morning. He's this super tall athletic guy, who's quite intimidating, but he's super super nice. I had a really hard time understanding him at first and was worried I'd freak him out by staring at his mouth to try and understand him, but once I got used to it I was fine. He's super funny and is not afraid to speak his mind. He also has the biggest TV in his living room I have ever seen in my life (that's not in the cinema). Its mahoosive!!
Then I carried on working my way through the fast food chains and tried a Carl's Jnr. It was pretty nice, I would definitely go back. Im still not used to ordering food there. In fast food places here you just say what you want, but out there they have numbers for things and then they say combo's instead of meals. And I still also forget how GINORMOUS their size's are. Here I order a medium but out there if I ordered that I'd have enough food for 2 meals. The cups are like buckets! So I will remember to just order a small. I'd probably order a child's meal if I was allowed. Mike was working that afternoon and evening so I spent my night watching the Expendables 2 and I decided to re watch all of the Twilight  films in preparation for the new one. So I watched Twilight and the beginning of New Moon.

Day 4: In the morning I got to meet one of Mike's best friends Pitto. I was super nervous, its a scary situation. He's a bit part of Mike's life so I hoped I made a god impression. They went and played volleyball in Stanford University, so I went along and watched. Volleyball is a very new sport for me. I have never played apart from a tiny bit down the beach in the summer but really thats just a game of keepy uppy. No way competitive and with no real rules. Its turns out there are a lot of rules in volleyball and is quite tactical. You have to hit the ball in certain ways with certain parts of your fingers or hands for certain shots. I dont have any real interests in playing, purely because I am probably the worst jumper ever so would not be great. I would give it a go but wouldn't get my hopes up of being any good. I think they won their first game, then as they were about to start their next game it started raining. So I left them to carry on in the rain and I went and sheltered in the car. In the evening Mike's basketball team had a home game, so I went and watched them. It was super cute, little kids playing basketball. They aren't the most athletic kids but they have great heart and all pulled together and ended up with a convincing win.

Day 5: Mike's school is based in the middle of a Valley which has some beautiful scenery and open countryside. So we went for a little walk around one of the nearby reserves. Mike's map reading skills made sure the walk was interesting. He's got a habit of getting us very lost. Last time we went on a walk around some waterfalls in Wales, we got so lost we had to crawl on our hands and knees up a steep hill, hop over a few fences then just hope we were walking the right way. It was an adventure and made it a whole lot funnier. When we got home, Mike had to work so I continued to work my way through the Twilight films and then watched Taken 2.

Day 6: This day was super fun! I got to watch my first NBA game, and even got to go to a meet and great with the players afterwards. All of this was possible due to one of Mikes friends who is best friends with one of the players on the Denver Nuggets team. So we went and watched them narrowly beat Golden State Warriors. I was super excited to see the half time show. I had a dream a few days before going out to California that I got called out to take part in the half time shoot out. You had to shoot the ball from the half way line and if it went in the basket you won some money. The only way I could ever throw the ball that far is by throwing it over my head. So in my dream thats what I did, and it went in.... obviously! So I won the money, much to Mikes embarrassment who was sat in the crowd with his head in his hands trying to hide. Unfortunately that did not happen, instead we were treated to one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. It was a Chinese dance performed by children, none of whom looked even remotely happy to be there. I dont know if they had to look sad or keep a straight face, but they just looked miserable. Before we went to the game, I had a life changing food experience. I had my first Chipotle's, which is a Mexican restaurant. I had a chicken and steak burrito. It was soooo good! Then we headed down to Pier 39 and walked around there for a while before making a quick stop off at the Golden Gate Bridge then drove to the game. It was such a nice day, and was lovely to spend time with Mike's friends too.

Day 7: Mike had to work all day so I was left to fend for myself. The school where Mike works is in the middle of a valley, so is surrounded by 2 big hills. The bigger of the 2 is called Windy Hill. From the top there are beautiful views of California and can see for miles to San Francisco. I have been up there twice before but drove up. So I decided I would be adventurous and walk up. I knew it wasn't going to be a easy walk, but I actually really enjoyed the walk up. It was a cool afternoon so the temperature was perfect. I made it to the top in just over a hour, then decided to make the most of the views at the top so sat down, read a bit of my book, took some pictures and then ate my apple. I have a hard time eating apples, I have quite a small mouth and so every time I bite into a apple I get the juice all over my face. So I now eat apples with a knife which is weird and posh I know. But I dont think I could have been more thankful for my weirdness about half a hour later, when I found myself running back down the hill. I completely mis-timed my walk and forgot how early it got dark in the evening. So just as I began my walk back down the sun disappeared behind the hill leaving me in the dark walking down little dirt tracks under tree's. I have a fear of the dark as it is, but being completely alone in a strange place ad in the middle of nowhere allowed my brain to go into overdrive. And I freaked myself out. I was so scared I even got the knife out of my backpack and help onto it inside my coat pocket. I knew it was craxy and dangerous seen as I couldnt see where I was putting my feet when I was running with only my ipod as a light, but it made me feel a tiny bit safer. What did not help my nerves was the 3 deer that darted across the path in front of me, who then stopped and just stared at me. It really was one of, if not the scariest experience of my life. I was so relieved to see the street lights and get back onto the main road. By the time I got back to the school and Mike saw me I was a huge red sweaty nervous wreck. But still I managed to run down the hill in 35 minutes. It was an interesting 6 miles walk/run but next time I will definitely drive up! To calm myself down I finished my night off watching one of my favourite Christmas films....ELF!! I absolutely love it, it's so funny. I only watched if for the first time about 3 years ago and since then it has been one of my most watched christmas films.

"I just like to smile, smiling's my favourite"

Day 8: I had another first today, I went to Dairy Queen. After seeing TV adverts for Blizzard Cakes, when I was in America in 2010 it has been on my 'To Do' list. However once we got there I realised I had got it very wrong and was thinking of something completely different. The Blizzard is more like a McFlurry not a cake. So after eating a chicken basket which was REAL nice we went to Baskin Robbins to try find a cake for me. It turns out they only sell whole cakes, and even though I think I could have given it a good go I decided against it and settles for a ince cream sundae with brownie, chocolate ice cream and chocolate sauce. After about 10 spoonfuls I was ready to burst. It was waaay too much, the portions were huge. Mike then had an away basketball game so I sat down and watched some trash TV and Mr and Mrs Smith. In the evening we went for a yummy meal in Chili's, one of Mike's favourite restaurants.

Day 9: My brother is a keen wannabe body builder and so his wardrobe comprises of workout clothes. He orders a lot of his clothes from America and in order to save on the very expensive postage fee's, he ordered clothes to Mike's for me to bring home in my suitcase. But after unsuccessfully being able to pack light there was no room for me to fit his clothes in so we had to take a trip to the post office and send them from there. Then we went to buy some groceries in Mike's super healthy shop, where we had a lesson/teling off from the lady in front of us in the queue about eating almonds with the skin's on. It was a very strange situation, neither of us knew how to respond, if she wanted us to take them back or pinky promise to never eat them again. After a quick stop in Chipotle's (I had to have another burrito) we went back to Mike's as Mike had an away basketball game. When he got back, I had packed my suitcase and then we set up his new clothes hanger/wardrobe/closet. We did a good job and it looked really good. One last thing I HAD to do before I left was have the best ice cream in America. So off we went to Coldstones. It was soo good, if I ever live in America I am probably going to be their more regular customer.

Day 10: Home time :( After a short night I had to get up at 5am in order to get to the airport for my 8am flight. I was so tired I was looking forward to getting on the plane and hopefully getting some sleep. What I did not expect was to be sat next to the most loved up couple I have seen. The could not keep their hands off each other. Normally it wouldn't bother me but after just having to say goodbye to Mike for 6 weeks it took all of my strength not to cry. I did manage to get a little sleep though but not much, at least I had the window seat to stare out of to try and distract myself from the flirting and giggling from next to me. Then I had a 5 hour lay over in Philidelphia. It was the biggest airport, it was a maze! Thankfully I had so long to waste, I would not want to be in a rush there. To pass the time I went and got myself some food but they gave me the wrong order, and I am not one of those people who complains, I dont have the confidence too so I just ate what I could and threw the rest away.
When I got onto the plane it was half empty so I had 2 seats to myself, it was lovely! The 3 back rows of the plane were empty so it was really nice to be back there, it felt really roomie and spacious. I would say it was quiet if it wasnt for the group of Americans infront of me who had apparently never been taught how to whisper to even talk quietly. But by this time I was too tired to even care and slept for practically the whole flight.

I was a perfect 10 days. I am so so glad I had the chance to go out there. One of the positives of being in a long distance relationship is how much you treasure the time you manage to have together. Now I only have to wait a little over a month to see him again which is so exciting.

Flossy x

Birthday Girl

Two weeks ago I celebrated my 23rd birthday. I didn't really have much planned for it, but it turned out to be a great birthday. 

First of all it fell on the day that the clocks went back, so we had a hour extra sleep, probably one of the most perfect presents I could ever ask for. I LOVE SLEEPING!

My Brothers birthday is 5 days before mine so we went for a family meal to a local pub on the Friday and had a yummy meal and my first birthday cake. Yes first as in I had cakes plural.. 

On the Sunday (my birthday) my brother and dad left early in the morning to go to London, they had tickets to go and watch the NFL game in Wembley. Leaving me and mum to have a lovely girly day in the spa. Not before having my second birthday cake. I had been wanting a full body massage for so long and part of the day package you could choose any treatment of your choice. Mine was a no brainer!

When we got there we had a Carvery lunch. It was really really nice. I got a bit carried away and stuffed my face forgetting that I would soon need to get into my bikini. After waddling to the changing room, our first task was to figure out how to work the lockers. They were MI5 standard. We had around 2 hours before we were booked in for our treatments so we headed to the sauna first. I am not a big fan of sauna's, one of my pet hates/peeves is breathing in warm air. It frustrates me then I get irritable. I really dont like getting hot and sweaty, I would much rather be too cold than too hot, but we actually stayed in there quite a while. It wasn't too hot in there so I think thats why. Then we jumped in the jacuzzi which is much more my scene. 

The Spa is in a big fancy hotel which is also used as the Welsh Rugby Team's base, so if your lucky somedays you could find yourself sharing the Jacuzzi with the players. Fortunately for me and my very full belly they weren't there the day we were. But the Wales youth Rugby team was training outside which we had a lovely view of from the Jacuzzi. 

Then we had a slight whoopsie, we got completely confused with the whole clock change and the fact that the only clock in the swimming pool hadn't been turned back meant we turned up to our treatment a hour early. Very eager. W had bit of a giggle about it then went back to the pool to swim a few more lengths.

When it was actually time for my massage it was kind of worth the wait. I find the whole massage experience quite strange, you just lie there and let a complete stranger massage your body. Then, there's  the dilema of trying to create a conversation or just lying there in a awkward silence. I just wanted to lie there and relax but my lady was a talker so I didn't have a choice. It was going really well until the lady started pressing harder. She pressed on one area on my shoulder blade for ages and boy did it hurt. I gritted my teeth and got through it then realised she was going to do the same on the other side. I did think about asking her to stop, but chose against it. I was super excited for a foot massage. I used to be freaked out with the idea of feet but I have learnt to love having my feet massaged. I was under the illusion that a foot massage normally meant having the bottom of your feet rubbed, but I was introduced to having the top of my feet massaged. An experience I NEVER want to repeat. The tops of my feet are quite boney so it was just painful so have bones rubbed. So that didn't quite go to plan. Im making it sound like a miserable massage those two bits were but the rest was really really good! I would go back again just for that and just ask them to avoid those 2 things. 

Overall I had a great day and a fab birthday, it was even more exciting knowing that I was flying out to Mike a few days after too. Im not used to saying that I'm 23, I feel like its a very grown up age. But I have so much planned for this year I've got a feeling its going to be a really exciting and enjoyable year. 

Flossy x

Countdown.

I am so happy right now. I have so many fun and exciting things to look forward too. As of now I am counting down to a number of things:

• In 8 days it is my 23rd birthday.
• In 15 days I finish work in the swimming pool.
• In 16 days I am GOING TO CALIFORNIA!!! I'm going to go and visit Mike for 10 days. I'm so excited! I cant wait to see him again. I do have a big dilema though, I dont know what kind of clothes to pack, obviously its not still summer there but I dont think it's cold enough for my winter clothes. 
• In 30 days I start my pre work training with the Ambulance Service. I've got to do 2 weeks of in class training and then a 3 week driving course so I can drive with the blue lights are sirens on. Exciting! 
• In 65 days SANTA's coming. My favourite time of year. I have also decided this year that I am going to do something I have wanted to do for years. I am going to do The Christmas Morning Swim. On one of my local beaches every year thousands of people meet down the beach late Christmas morning and watch the brave/crazy people go into the sea all in aid of raising money for chosen charities. Its more a big social event and a chance to see everyone on Christmas before we all retreat to our houses and eat way too much food. So in 65 days I have to run down a beach in front of thousands of people in a bikini! I must be mad.
• In 66 days I am going to Tennessee to FINALLY meet Mike's family. Im super excited to meet them all, but im also very VERY nervous! 
• In 84 days I start work with the Welsh Ambulance Service! Finally doing a adult job and putting into practice all I've learnt and bust my butt for the last 2 years. 

Im one happy and very lucky girl :)

Flossy x

Rediscovering Hobbies

Its always super fun to go back to and rediscover old hobbies. 

Last night, 4 years after hanging my hockey stick up I went back and played at a local club with 2 of my friends, both of whom also used to play. I really enjoyed it. I used to love playing hockey and I was quite good. I played a lot when I was in secondary school and then when I went to University my shoulder was playing up and I just lost interest in playing so stopped altogether.

All through my life I've enjoyed playing sports and always wanted to get better and play to higher standards. However I have such a hard time understanding and dealing with it when people become so into it that they live, breath, eat and sleep that sport. Im just not like that. For me sport is fun and I feel that when you get to a certain level the fun side is forgotten and it becomes more a way of life. 

Dont get me wrong I love the competitive side of sport, I am a very competitive person (sometimes a bit too much). But I just can't take something that seriously. I dont know whether its a defensive mechanism because im scared of failing if I push myself too much or if I just cant understand how you can take a sport that seriously and dedicate so much of yourself to it. I also know that the higher standard and level you play at the more of a crowd you get watching the games. As long as I can remember I have always hated people watching me play any sports. I get stage fright very easily and I am so scared of letting the people down who are there supporting me that I choke and end up doing just that. 

In all of my badminton competitions my family used to come and as much as I didn't like it, after playing in so many competitions I just got used to it. But I also knew that as my family they had to support me no matter how well or badly I did. I also used to try and sit them in a corner or as far away as I possibly could. 

Im so happy I went back and played, and surprisingly im not sore or hurting today, I know I've just jinxed myself for next week! I hope I can keep up playing, I want to go for the fitness as much as anything. Im already looking forward to next week!!

Flossy x

New Toy

I bought myself a new toy today. My laptop suddenly died on me a few weeks ago so since then I have been looking around for a new one and finally decided to get myself a Macbook Pro.

My old laptop had a big 15 inch screen and its safe to say I have got used to it and love it. I hate looking at screens as it is and so the bigger the better. However today when I went to the Apple store I realised I could save £400 by getting the 13 inch instead of the 15 inch. So now I have a 13 inch screen, its okay I think I will get used to it, I couldn't justify spending another £400 for that.

So tonight my brother set it all up for me, because I would not have had a clue. It is all up and running, I am slowly trying to figure out how to use it. Its so fiddely! Some of the buttons are different and do different things. But I will get used to it.

Flossy x

Travels

On Sunday 4 of my girls set off on their 7 month traveling adventure.

Their trip sounds incredible. All together they are going to Dubai, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and Hong Kong.

The one place that always makes me jealous is Australia. If I could only pick one place to visit in my life it would be there. I've always wanted to go, ever since I was a little girl. Every year for Christmas the last thing on my list is a ticket to Australia. My family went before I was born, literally just before i was born, my mum was pregnant with me. They could have at least waited 6 months.
The main reason I want to go there is to cross off the top thing on my bucket list which is to touch/ feed a kangaroo. I am dreading the day the girls go to Australia zoo and put up pictures of them with the kangaroos. But ill get my picture one day and it will be worth the wait.

I also really want to go to Thailand to go to ko phi phi beach. Where they filmed The Beach with Leonardo DeCaprio. I've heard it's become overly touristy now which is annoying but when somewhere is that beautiful you can't really be surprised. Mike spent a while out in Thailand a few years ago and one of the locals took them to a deserted beach and he said it was amazing! They stayed in huts on the beach and no one was around. That's probably the best thing to do while traveling is get friendly with the locals. They will know the better and secret places to go.

I've have always wanted to go traveling. In hindsight I probably should have gone after finishing school taken a year out and then gone to university. But then I wouldn't have met the amazing people I did and might not have been where I am today so I do not regret my decision. The world isn't going anywhere all those amazing places will still be there in a few years so I can go then. But I do definitely do want to travel and visit as many places as possible.

One day.....

Flossy x

Tickle Tickle

I have been so intrigued and fascinated by Reflexology for a long time now, so on Thursday I went and had a hour long session. It was not what I thought it would be at all, but it was still really really good, and I would defiantly go again.
The lady who did it works as a clinical reflexology in the hospital so she is one of the top in the profession. Before she began we had a long chat and she asked what I wanted out of it, what made me come for the session, and then gained more of a detailed background about me and asked about my health. I was weary of what I told her, because I know that they are able to see health problems in your feet. So I didn't want to tell her things for her to then tell me those things in an attempt to try and amaze me.
I don't know if I can call it a massage because it wasn't what I think of a massage it was fairly light touches and more just using pressure points. It still felt really good. A few years ago I would have been so grossed out at the idea of someone touching my feet, but I have grown to LOVE it. Its so relaxing. I was trying not to fall asleep as she was doing it. I was also scared of her tickling me, I am super ticklish and lose all control and kick out, that would have been terrible. But thankfully it was okay, it was a bit touch and go when she started going in between my toes but I held it together.

At the end of the session she told me 2 things she noticed: she felt some grissle in the area that relates to my neck and also my right shoulder. She also said that my neck area felt very very warm, so I now know I have one very hot big toe :s
I was shocked and surprised at how much sense that made. When I was around 15 years old I had to give up playing Badminton because of my right shoulder, it is very very weak and painful when I use it alot and often clicks and locks. I also have been sent for blood tests to look at my Thyroid and also check everything else, so the part about my neck made sense and also kind of scared me a bit. I don't want any health problems.

I had my blood tests this morning, I hate needles! I am a big baby. I don't mind putting them in other people in work but do not like them coming towards me. The lady had trouble finding my veins too which didn't help. The ones in my hands and feet are great but not in my arm, so she dug around a bit and managed to find one. I just clenched my teeth and looked away. Hopefully my results will come back all fine, I'm sure they will, I should find out next Tuesday.

In the meantime I am sat phone watching, its so frustrating! They say a watched kettle never boils, well a watched phone never rings either!

Flossy x

Shaky Jake

I had my first ever interview for full time adult job yesterday. And I will be more than happy to never have another one again. It was so nerve-racking. I thought I had prepared well, I was happy with my knowledge and I had prepared a few answers so in that sense I was as prepared as I could be . I have such a hard time with my nerves though. I get nervous over anything and everything, and they do get the better of me. Most times I just feel horrendously sick and I become so shy.

There were 4 people on the interview panel, they were all lovely. None of them were there to catch me out or anything like that. But I just found it terrifying being sat in front of 4 people who are going to be the ones deciding if I get a job or not. Throughout the interview my voice did not stop shaking. It sounded like I was about to burst into tears at any moment. And because I was so aware of it, I think I stopped my answers short.

I hadn't realized just how much I had wanted the job, I knew I did obviously want one. Leading up to yesterday it hit home and I built myself up so much, that I was upset with how it went. I'm not confident about getting a job offer. I just hope they take me nerves into account, and I hope I came across how I wanted to and my answers were good enough. They said they were going to start ringing people hopefully at the end of next week to let them know the outcome. That is going to be one scary phone call, and potentially very awkward if the answer is no. So next Thursday and Friday I am not moving from a spot where I have signal which is hard in my house. But I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed, and try to keep myself busy so I don't just sit here and over think it.

In the mean time I am just relaxing, which is all well and good for a day or two but after that it quickly gets boring. I'm trying to do some voluntary work, next week I have a meeting with a local organisation to try and see whats around for me to do. I really want to work with old people, but I would really enjoy working with children. I'll just see what they have available and what they think will be most suitable for me. But now at least I have a chance to work through my to do list that has been building up for the last 2 years. I am dying to wallpaper my room, which is going to be amusing. And I really want to get fit, I'm currently looking at gyms to see which ones I can afford.

Come on next Thurdsay!!!

Flossy x

Rollercoaster

This last month has truly been the most stressful, emotional and most draining month of my life. I have really had to dig deep and find ways of keeping myself motivated when more and more hurdles kept popping up and the end line just seemed to never be getting closer. But I can now finally say what I have been so looking forward to and wanting to say for two very long and hard years:

 I AM A GRADUATE PARAMEDIC!

I have passed and completed my course and am no longer a student, that seems crazy. I've been looking forward to it for so long that now it's hear it almost seems unreal. 

I was absolutely devastated when I failed my final exam. I really thought I had done enough to pass. I knew I had messed up a bit of the exam but I thought the rest of my work would have boosted me up. I found out I had failed while I was out in California visiting Mike, but because I was so happy to be out there and was so busy I didn't really think about it. 

However reality quickly sunk in once I came home and I got quite upset. If I failed the resit I would have failed the whole course and not been able to graduate and be a paramedic. Having that pressure on my shoulders got to me. There was a few days where I just felt like giving up but I just pushed past it. I can honestly say I revised as much as I could. Even though the Olympics were on which proved to be a very difficult distraction to ignore. I did let myself watch bits as a treat in my revision breaks. As a result I felt much more confident going into the exam, and when I handed my paper in at the end I breathed a sigh of relief and felt confident that I had done enough to pass. I've also found a positive from having to resit and that is my anatomy and physiology knowledge has improved so much. Having to revise again reinforced my knowledge and I also learnt a lot of new things, so now looking back I am quite glad I had to resit. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

I didn't have chance to relax much at all after my exam I had an assessment day for a paramedic job soon after. The assessment consisted of a:

test of the highway code and road signs, 

driving assessment, 

practical assessment

fitness test.

It was a super tough assessment. The highway code and traffic signs were the main things I was worried about. We had to learn them all word perfect. And the marking was very strict. If you failed any one of the parts that was your assessment day over and you were sent home. After passing the highway code and road sign test I relaxed a bit. I'm confident in my driving and practical abilities. The fitness test was the only part left that had me slightly worried about. There was 4 parts to the test. the first 3 were okay and went well. The final part of the test was doing 3 and a half minutes walking up and down 2 steps while holding 2 x 15Kg dunbells. So 30Kg all together. It hurt! I knew it would be tough so I focused on a point of the wall and told myself there is no way I am not going to miss out on the opportunity of a job because of some weights. The man who was testing me was so encouraging, he was lovely. He kept me motivated and pushed me on. As soon as the beeping we had to step to stopped and the celebratory music came on I put down the weights and did a little celebratory dance. I had done it! Another hurdle out of the way. 

I've got an interview in the next few weeks which will hopefully result in a job offer. But it will be tough they are interviewing a lot of people for only a few jobs, so I've got to make sure I'm properly prepared. But it is actually the last thing I have to do. So hopefully in less than 3 weeks I will be able to say I have a job and am officially working as a Paramedic...COME ON!!

Flossy x

All you need is love

Everyone moans about their life and how tough things are but its only when you see or hear about something truly upsetting or something that you cannot even comprehend that everything in your life is put into perspective and you realize how all pathetic and insignificant your problem and worries actually are.

I watched a programme tonight called 'Care Home Children: Looking For Love' and even though I know that not everyone was fortunate to have a good upbringing like I had, it really upsets me to think of kids growing up not knowing what its like to have a family and feel loved.

I had the best childhood I could have ever imagined. I cant even explain to people how much I loved it. I grew up on a estate with about 10 other children of a similar age and we hung out all the time. We would be out playing straight after breakfast and didn't go in until it got dark. We'd take it in turn which house we would go to to get a drink and snack then we'd go straight back out. It was so much fun. I was given all the opportunities, support, encouragement, love and advice I could ask for.

Watching that program made me realize how lucky I am. I think the most important thing a child can have growing up is stability and these children had none. One of the boys moved house 35 times in 2 years. I cant even imagine that. And as a result they never let anyone in or get to close for fear of them leaving.
I know when I was growing up I accused my parents of loving my brother more than me or not loving me at all and ruining my life if I wasn't allowed to go somewhere or not have something. That's embarrassing now to look back on and it makes me sound spoilt (which I wasn't)  I knew deep down that wasn't the case and I was loved, but I think most children feel like that at some stages its part of growing up and its an important lesson in learning boundaries and accepting when you cant have things your own way. But for these children that is basically their reality. They don't have anyone who cares enough for them to take them in and give them a home and love, or maybe their parents care too much and that's why they give them away because they know they cant give that child the things they deserve and need. But either way they grow up not knowing what its like to be part of a family and feel safe and supported. 

Those children who go through care are more likely to end up in prison, homeless and with mental health issues. And half of girls who grow up in care are mothers before the age of 18. I'm 22 and I cannot even imagine having a child right now let alone 4 or more years ago. Its crazy to think how different their lives could be if they just had someone or someplace stable in their lives.

When I was growing up I always wanted to own a 'fat' camp with a lake and a blob on it, so children who struggled with their weight like I did could have somewhere to go and not feel bullied, ugly or like a misfit. I would still love to have that one day. I would be on that blob more than anyone, it looks so much fun. Its definitely on my bucket list of things to do in my life.

I feel that people have become much more selfish and greedy, years ago people used to do everything they could to help people even if it meant they would struggle themselves. Now everyone just looks after number 1. I used to be really naive and shallow minded about history. I used to say 'its in the past so leave it in the past' but over the past 2 years during my placements I have realized how immature, ignorant and wrong I was and I'm embarrassed to even admit how I used to think. 
I have met people who were in World War 1 and 2 and fought for our country in various other battles too. I've been bought to tears a few times listening to their stories, part of it is also my guilt for having disregarded what they did and how I thought before. Those gentlemen are amazing and they are true hero's. I could listen to their stories all day. Some of the stories they tell you just cant even comprehend. One man was in a Japanese prison of war camp for 7 years, and his stories were truly shocking but I'm so lucky to have been able to hear them. 

Watching the show made me really upset me and think about what I could do to help. I genuinely love helping people, I always feel the need to help people because I hate to see people upset, hurt and lonely especially when there so much we can do to help and there's no need for them to be in that situation. 


I always used to think about adoption and thought it would be nice but I never considered fostering a child. Now I definitely will if I am able to. I definitely want children of my own, its one of my biggest goals and ambitions in life, quite how many children I'm not sure of just yet. I want to have enough money for each of them to have their own room and to be able to give them all the opportunities, support, encouragement and love they could ask for. I want my children to be able to turn around and say just like I can that I had they best childhood possible and best parents they could ask for. 


That's one of the reasons why I love my job so much, because I can help and care for people and I do feel like I can give something back. Even some people who call when they aren't injured or ill, they just want company and someone to listen to them, I'm more than happy to be that person. No one likes to be alone no matter what they say or how they act. I would be more than happy to do my job for the rest of my life but I know that one day I wont be able to because of how physically demanding it is. So I'd love to either work somewhere where they offer care to people or set up and own my own business. My problem is I'd want to help everyone and as much as people like to think they can you have to be realistic. I don't know whether I'd want to help young children so that they have the best chance at life. The elderly, because people forget about them and my biggest fear in life is being alone when I'm old so I don't want to think of anyone being like that. Or maybe help families and try and help them be as happy as possible or maybe even homeless, drug or alcohol dependent people.

Hmmmm we'll I've got to complete my course first to even enable me to do my dream job, one more exam and then hopefully I'm all done. Ive only got 19 more days in University. Im so excited!!!

Flossy x

Spring Clean

I have had the most productive day I have had in ages.

I have needed to sort through my wardrobes for so long. Yes wardrobes plural I have 3. There are clothes in them from years ago that I know don't fit me anymore but I kept them because I like them or because they remind me of a time or place. I think I could easily be a hoarder. 

The final straw that made me sort through them was my wardrobe actually collapsing this week. Half way through the night there was a huge bang and it freaked me out so much I just lay in bed super still for ages until I decided it was safe to move. But I had a little DIY session, got out my screwdriver and fixed it.

Growing up I had such a hard time coping with the dark, the fact that you cant see exactly whats there scares the life out of me. Add that to the fact that for some strange reason I could never say no to watching a scary film meant my nights were often spent lying awake and super still in bed waiting for the monster/scary man in my room to leave. I could never sleep with my door shut and I had to leave a light on. Then as I got older I started to shut my door but I had a little nightlight in my room, which was actually a weird little monster creature (how ironic). Now I can finally sleep without a light and with my door shut. I still don't like going into dark places and hate it when people turn the light off quickly, I freak out, grab hold of the nearest person and just freeze.

The scariest experience of my life was when I was 18 and on a team building exercise when I was in UWIC. We had to walk through a pitch black tunnel and count markers that stuck out of the wall, whilst measuring the length of the tunnel with the 20 meter rope we had to hold onto. I couldn't even see my hand which was right in front of my face. Luckily I knew one of the girls in my group really well so she knew what I would be like and didn't complain once when I squeezed her hand to death and cried on her shoulder the whole way through. Safe to say I did not count any markers and could not even guess at how long the tunnel was because it felt like MILES!

After sorting through my wardrobes I managed to fill a tonne of bags which I took to a charity shop to go to a better home. I did plan on doing a car boot sale but they are so much hard work and clothes would be a nightmare to sell there. I have got a few bits and pieces I'm going to try and sell on Ebay, but last time I tried I failed miserably.

Heres all the bags I managed to give away:

These are the jeans I was wearing about 2-3 years ago, which I kept as a little reminder to never get that big again, and also a little ego boost, but now they have gone to a new home, They don't even look that big here but in real life I think I could have had a good go at fitting both legs into one.

I love the feeling after a good sort out and clean. I have satisfied my OCD for a while at least.

Flossy x

Trucker

I am a qualified lorry driver!

As part of my course we had to get our C1 driving licence so that we could drive the ambulance. So instead of them giving us an ambulance to learn in they gave us a HUGE lorry. It was massive. 

On Sunday when we started I was petrified, I have never driven anything bigger than a ford focus, my car is a little Corsa and I am comfortable in my little bubble. It took me a few minutes to take in just how big the steering wheel was! I'm not a very confident driver anyway, especially in places that I don't know I just panic and get flustered, so driving around strange places in a mammoth lorry it was safe to say I was out of my comfort zone.

We went straight out onto the main roads too which surprised me. I expected to drive around an industrial estate for a while and just get used to starting, stopping, steering and the sheer size of the vehicle. But nono within 5 minutes of driving I was on the motorway.

I now have no much more respect for lorry drivers. I don't think people will quite understand until you drive one yourselves, just how much more you have to think about all the time. The steering is so difficult, the gears are a pain in the butt and the amount of time you have to spend checking your mirrors and blind spots is unreal. Cars just don't care about you, they cut you up, go into your lane, don't give you enough time or space and generally make a nuisance of themselves. 

Getting into my car now feels like the strangest thing, it just feels soo small and almost pathetic. I'm so low down to the ground and the gear stick is so small. In the lorries you always pull of in 2nd. I've been caught out a few times in my car starting in 2nd which it will cope with but it lets me know its not right by kindly screaming at me. Tonight I nearly went into a wall because I kept putting my car into 2nd gear instead of reverse.... whoops!

This is what I've been cruising around in all week...

So next time you see a lorry and decide to cut him up, squeeze through a gap or get annoyed because your stuck behind one DONT. 

Flossy x

FINALLY!

2 years and 3 stone later I have finally reached the goal I set myself.

 I actually can't remember the last time I weighed less than 10 stone. When I was 18 I lost weight and got down to 10 stone 3, but before then I was heavier. I think I was probably around 14 the last time I weighted less than 10 stone which is a scary and sad thought but at least I can say that I am now. 

I am finally happy with my weight and how I look, which is a feeling I never thought I would feel again. I was so down in how I looked. I had no confidence and was constantly miserable. As much as I hated food for what it had done to me, it was the only thing that made me feel better but only temporally then I would get upset again.

I felt like everyday I would start a diet but if I didn't see results straightaway then I would loose hope of it working and would give up. People are always very quick to criticize large people but until you have been there yourself then you don't know how hard it is and what its like to look at yourself in the mirror and feel disgusted. As much as I sympathize with them I do still get annoyed when they moan how big they are and don't do anything about it, even though it is frustrating it is worth it it just takes a long time and a lot of hard work. 

Now that I've lost weight now I want to tone up and get fit. So that is my next goal, I'm going to restart my running, look for a Pilates or yoga class and try Cross-fit. But one thing I can definitely promise is that I will never ever let myself get that big or miserable again.

Here's my proof, my favourite picture in a long long while!

Flossy x

Impulse Buy

Normally I regret all of my impulse purchases and Mike normally disapproves, however my latest one I think he quite liked.

I got given a reading week in University, so on the Friday afternoon I booked a flight to California for the week, I flew out on the Saturday morning. It was such a rush and a last minute idea but I'm so so so glad I did it though.

For the week I worked at the camp that I worked on 2 years ago where I met Mike. It was strange to go back and see how the camp had changed. There is soo many more kids there now. The biggest week I had during my summer was 60 kids, I think the least they have this year is about 100-120. And they have sooo much more staff too. There was people everywhere. It was really good to see how the camp has expanded and grown. Mike works so hard for the camp and puts in a lot of hours, he spent a lot of time whilst he was here doing things, and I could see where all that work had gone.

I got to meet the Camp Director too who didn't work there when I was there but started last year. I had heard so much about him that it was nice to finally meet him in person. It was also nice to meet all the other counselors and staff because I had heard stories from Mike so it was lovely to be able to put a face to the name. Everyone was super nice, I was so nervous going there because they had all known each other for at least 2 weeks and had made close friendships that I thought they might be a bit weary of me coming in just for a week. But I am their boss's girlfriend so I guess they had to be nice to me.

The week went by really quickly, too quick actually. It took me about a day and half of to get used to things and remember certain things but after that it was like I hadn't been away. They sang a lot of different songs though so I  just mimed and did the hand motions to try and get away with it. I was working with the 5-6 year olds, so I had my hands full, I had forgotten how tiring they were. But also how much fun they can be. A few of the kids who were there 2 years ago were back, that was strange to see how much they had grown up. A few remembered me, a few didn't which kind of broke my heart a little but its understandable that they didn't.

I got to spend some time with Mike which was lovely! We went for food one night and the basketball game was on so he was super happy. It was strange being with him when he was in his country. I was totally dependent on him which I'm not used to. But I could defiantly get used to being driven around everywhere. He asked me if I wanted to drive which I quickly declined. Their roads scare me, all the cars are so big and they just seem to go in any directions they want to. As we were driving back to the airport I kind of got used to it and thought a few times that maybe I would be okay, but I will defiantly need a few lessons first, which will be amusing.

It was super exciting to be there and think that I could potentially be living there in a few months. It made me more determined and excited to find a way of getting out there. It did make me realize that it's going to take so much hard work, but I've seen it now and I have that image of me driving down their freeway in my mind so I've got a new lease of enthusiasm about the whole thing.

Even though it cost me a fair bit of money to go I'm so glad I did. Before I went out there I was seriously finding things hard. Mike was so busy that we only got to message a few times a day. It was okay for a while but then it just started to get to me. Its hard not being able to talk to the person you want to the most. I don't know if/how I would have managed the summer if I hadn't gone out to see him. After seeing it for myself I can understand how he is so busy, and now if there is a long gap in messages I can figure out what he is doing and it makes it better. Its still super hard though and I know its going to get super tough again but I really don't have long left now. I've never been more excited to finish something in my life.

Flossy x

There's nothing wrong with having big dreams...

Lately I've been thinking alot about goals and setting targets for a number of reasons really what with all of my exams and essay's I've had lately and with the end of my course finally getting closer.

As children were told to follow our dreams and go for whatever we want in life. And I do think that's a great attribute to teach your children as it encourages and drives them to better themselves, and to learn and experience as much as possible. But now as I've got older I can also see the downside of setting goals. I feel that there is no problem in having big dreams, however I think that it is SO important to learn how to be realistic when setting those.

There is no better feeling than when you achieve a goal you have set yourself, actually I think it's probably the most satisfying feeling you can ever get. But when you don't achieve your goal or when you realize and have to accept that the dream you've been chasing will never come true its probably the worst feeling you can have, especially if that dream is one you have been chasing for years.

I can understand why people do give up on things if they become tough or they see their dreams slipping away. It takes a strong person to keep going when it seems like everything is against them. I wonder how many dreams people have given up on because of this. Luckily for me I realized from a young age that I was never going to be a pop star, actress or model so I don't have to worry about that. But some people have to achieve their dreams, the world will always need celebrities so someones got to make the cut.

The reason I started to think about this whole topic more is because I've started to realize that one of my dreams may not turn out quite how I wanted it to, and it has really got to me. I hate failing at things, I've never been good at admitting defeat. I'm very overcritical of myself anyway, so when I fail I always take it out hard on myself and question what I could have done differently. I know that this can sometimes be a good thing because you can better yourself and learn from your mistakes. But when you actually haven't made any mistakes and the reason your dream cant come true is because of something out of your control then it makes it even harder to accept.

I'll still continue setting myself goals because they keep me driven, give me a sense of perspective and something to aim for. But from now on I will defiantly think more carefully about things that could go wrong and maybe not set my heart on it coming true. That might even make that satisfying feeling even greater if I do achieve that goal then.

Even though I've realized that my dream may not quite turn out how I planned I'm still defiantly chasing it and it WILL come true one day. It's just going to take a little bit longer than I thought and take more hard work, but I am not admitting defeat just yet. Its strange when your feeling down you remember the strangest things and they can help you so much. I was in the shower (where I do my best thinking) and I remembered something my Great Grandma told me one day when I told her what I wanted to do when I grow up and said I didn't think I could do it. It instantly made me happy and restored the faith I had lost. Its so true when people say the older you get the wiser you get. So I've restored that drive and ambition and I'm going for my dream, I wont stop until I achieve it.

Here are my Great Grandma's amazing wise words:

''There's nothing wrong with having big dreams... Whats wrong is not doing all you can to make them come true''

Flossy x

Sober

In the last few years one of the hardest decisions I've had to make is choosing to not drink alcohol anymore. Not because I miss it or anything like that but purely because of the drinking culture and society here. Here everyone drinks, it is the norm, its what you do, its part of growing up.

We're all around it from a young age, our parents go to the pub and all of us kids play outside on the field. And whenever someone had a party or at Christmas there was always alcohol around. My parents in no way had drinking problems in fact they barely drank at all, they just had one or two on big occasions. I remember always wanting to have a drop of champagne in my lemonade at Christmas so I could be 'one of the grown ups'.

Teenagers here start sneaking alcohol out and drinking it probably about 15 years old. However I know some people who were 12 or 13 when they first started drinking, not regularly but whenever they could get some. I think I was about 16 when I first started drinking. By that I mean having one or two Bacardi Breezers (alcopops) down the beach where we all used to go on Friday and Saturday nights.

I think my parents taught me very well about drinking and the dangers of it growing up. They never used to make it a big thing, they were open with me about it, and answered any questions I ever asked about it. If at big occasions they were there to look after me all the time they would let me have a sip of something not spirits though, just cider, larger or beer (all of which were gross!) so that I wouldn't feel like I was missing out and as a way to try and reduce it being seen as such a big thing that I had to run out and do as early as possible. I just had to ask and if they thought it was safe then they would let me have a sip and if they said no I knew it meant no and there was a reason for it.

I think that's part of the reason I started drinking later on than most people and I rarely drank to excess. Plus I've always been a huge mother hen so as soon as I see someone who's not well and has had too much to drink I always end up looking after them. So that stopped me too, because guaranteed there was always someone there who needed looking after. I don't mind looking after people at the end of the day that's just part of who I am, and its what I've decided to do for the rest of my life. However I do sometimes feel like some people take advantage of that fact. They know that as long as I'm there they will have someone to look after them. I also feel sometimes that I've missed out on things because of the amount of times I've had to leave somewhere early to take someone home. So sometimes I do get annoyed with it but I cant change how I am.

The biggest deciding factor that made me stop drinking was my job. I don't know how many times I have picked people up who have no idea where they are, how they got there, who they are and cant even hold themselves up and loose all control of their body. Its really scary to see, Especially when it's young girls, anything could happen to them. I sometimes wish I could film them and then show them the next day as a way of making them realize. But the sad thing is, is that they would probably find it funny, and just go out and do it again. How can they not learn! Its also a frustrating part of the job having to go to people who have got in that mess intentionally and continue to do it when we could be going and helping someone who actually needs up. I think people need to have a lot more education on the impact of them calling an ambulance has on the hospitals and on other people. I think that would help reduce the numbers of calls we go to and maybe even stop people from drinking quite so much and getting in such a bad way.

What makes me angry more than anything is people who think they have to drink in order to have fun. Whenever people say that I have to bite my tongue. It's ridiculous. Of course you can have fun without drinking, we all did it for the first how ever many years of our lives, we do it everyday when we don't drink. And I know I have had some pretty good times when I'm sober. Actually all of my favourite moments of my life have been when I was just with my friends and not a drop of alcohol in sight.

I haven't been an angel, far from it, especially when I was in University the first time around. I'd say 4 out of 7 nights we were out. My pre-drinking consisted of at least a bottle of wine and then I would spend about £40 when I was out. Looking back on it now it makes me feel sick. However I never ever got into the state where I had to rely on someone else to look after me, but still that is nothing to be proud of. It is just the thing to do in University. People don't go to the best University anymore or the one that will give them the best chance of a good degree, they go to the ones with the best student and social life.

Its still hard when I go out because all of my friends still drink and don't understand why I don't, so they try and get me to drink with them. At first I always found myself caving and having a drink then regretting it as soon as I had drunk it. Now however, I have got a backbone and don't feel bad saying to people 'No I don't drink anymore'. I think they have all also got used to me not drinking so don't even bother asking. It means they get a free lift now, so even if they do complain its not for very long.

A few of my friends used to say I only stopped drinking because of Mike (because he doesn't drink and has never tried it, (which is something I admire)). It is completely untrue. I had stopped drinking before I had even met Mike. When I came back from camp though I had matured alot and found that I was able to finally  stand up for myself. So that's when I started saying no and sticking to it. I can see why people think that though I suppose.

Now I know I can go out and have a great night with my friends, enjoy myself, laugh, dance and not wake up in the morning feeling like death, dreading to look at my bank balance and with all my memory intact knowing that I did not do anything I would regret. 

Flossy x

Visitors

Two of Mike's friends who are going to be working at his camp this year came down to visit us both last week.  We had a BBQ Wednesday night after they arrived. I love BBQ's they are so simple but so good. I would absolutely love one of those big BBQ grills. Mike likes them too and loves to grill out so maybe in the future we can get a big mean one that can cook 100 burgers and sausages at once. Then on Thursday and Friday we did two trips to the waterfalls in Neath. Each day we did a different trail and managed to see all of the waterfalls in the end. Matt and Laura had never walked behind a waterfall before so it was nice we could take them to do that. I had forgotten how many steps there were and how hilly it was there. I got so hot and sweaty, I'm positive I should be one of those people who constantly have rosy cheeks because I only have to do one star jump and I'm already rosy.
While we were down by the waterfall the boys started skimming stones and managed to make them bounce about 3 or 4 times, me and Laura, however just made 1 big splash. So skimming stones is not a skill of mine.
While we were there we had a photo taken and I was so upset when I saw it. Even after all the weight I've lost I still don't feel comfortable in how I look. So once my exams are over next week I am going to go on a health kick. I am going to focus more on my diet than anything else because that's where I think I let myself down. Right now all of my revision 'brain food' is not helping my waist line. I also want to go to cross-fit and try that out. I know it is going to be tough but hopefully once I go a few times I'll start enjoying it and see results so that will encourage me to keep going.  I don't really have a goal weight I want to get down to and I'm not fussed on dress sizes's either, I just want to be able to look at myself and feel happy and also feel healthy in myself. I've already convinced one of my friends to come along with me too, so I cant back out now.

Mike cooked us all a chicken casserole Friday night which was really good! It was more like what we would call a pie, but they (american's) call it a casserole. He cooked a tonne of chicken, seasoned it, then put that on top of a layer of puff pastry, topped that with a LOT of cheese, then covered it with another layer of pastry. It only took about 25 minutes in the oven to cook too. It was really nice, I'll probably make it again some time, when I remember about it.

It was really nice to see them both before they go off for the summer. They have some amazing traveling plans too that made me jealous. They are going to Africa for a while to help out in schools and go on a safari then they are heading off somewhere else too. So I will be keeping a close eye on their Facebook pictures to see where in the world they are. They are both really nice, I've only met them both once before, when we went to another one of Mike's friend from camp's birthday up in Liverpool. Laura is pretty much exactly like me but in another body. We are pretty similar in things we like, do, don't like and how we act. According to Matt and Mike we are both overly polite, so we had a few times where we both didn't back down on things such as paying for food.

I did find it hard listening to them all talk about their summer and camp plans and ideas. Knowing I'm going to still be in uni while they and also all of my other friends are enjoying their summer and going on holiday is tough. As much as I absolutely love my University course and am so so so glad I've done it. I cannot wait for it to be over now, get a job and be a fully qualified paramedic. That's a scary thought but its's what I've been working towards for 2 years now so I just want it to come. I've only got 11 weeks left in Uni, 5 of which I'll be on placement for so it should go fast, but it just seems so far away right now.

I've only got one more week with Mike before he flies home and heads to camp. Its gone really quick! I am still not good at saying goodbye to him,  I've tried not to think about it as much this time, but I know I'm going to start getting very emotional soon. More this time than any other because I don't actually know when I can see him again. He has just got an amazing job in the school that camp is based on. So he'll be starting there a few days after camp is over, which would leave me very little time to go see him, plus I dont even finish Uni for another 2 weeks after that. So we're just going to have to wait and see how it goes I guess. FINGERS CROSSED!!

Flossy x

Foghorn!

Tonight my Dad, Brother, Mike and I went and watched the Ospreys play Munster in Swansea. It was a good game the first half was better than the second half but the atmosphere there was so much better than all the other games we've been to see.

They handed out signs to everyone that were folded up into fans so people could hit them against their hands to make noise if they wanted to. I've never been one of those people who chants and cheers, I don't know why I find it quite cringy and embarrassing, unless I get really into the game then I will. I do celebrate and clap and all of that when my team scores or do anything good. I cannot stand people who shout random things out during the game. It really frustrates me. It's not going to make any impact on the game what so ever, the players/ref's can't hear what your shouting and even if they could I really don't think they would care about what you think they should be doing differently. They are the professionals who get paid to play so I think they might know better. And plus half of what they say isn't funny they just end up making themselves look like plonkers and annoy everyone around them.

So you can imagine my excitement when I had some guy sit down next to me with the fan/sign poised in his hand ready to make as much noise as humanly possible and a catalog of pre planned, what he thought were witty one liners to shout out at the players and ref.

By the end of the first half my ears were ringing and I had cringed so many times at his attempts to give good smack talk I actually felt sorry him. The lady who was lucky enough to be sat next to him on the other side was also not looking like the happy cheery person she appeared when we first arrived. The gentleman's family were actually sat in the row in front of us and his wife even told him off for one of the things he shouted out.

When half time came I seized my opportunity and offered a seat trade with my Dad, Mike and Sam. They all laughed at me at first but my dad swapped with me. My dad is very similar to that gentleman as in he gets very animated with the ref and celebrates elaborately when the team scored so together they were like a match made in heaven. Both making beautiful music with their fan/signs and not holding back on offering advice and their opinions to the players.

It was a good game and even better that the ospreys won :)

This will probably be the last game Mike gets to go and watch. I would have loved to take him to a Wales game, there is no better place to be than in the Millennium Stadium to watch a game. Maybe one day we will.


Flossy x

A year of babbeling

I realised today that I am celebrating an anniversary. Its been 1 year since I began writing this blog, in that time I have written my fair bit of rubbish. I still enjoy going back and reading my posts, it reminds me of things I had forgotten about. I guess that is the beauty about blogs, it is a diary and so you get to keep memories. I think this next year I will have more interesting things to write about because I think I'm going to be making some big decisions and embarking on some big adventures. Whatever happens it'll defiantly involve a long relaxing holiday somewhere!

Flossy x

Let The Good Times Roll

For Michael's birthday his mum kindly paid for us both to go Sphering / Zorbing. I suggested it so I was really nervous that it wouldn't be good and a waste of her money but it wasn't. The actual roll down the hill was good. It was over quite quick but I am quite happy about that, I would have felt so sick if it had been a long roll. Even though we were harnessed in I still moved around quite a lot and my head was rattling around like bobble head.  What let the day down was the welcoming staff. They had a Lady on the reception desk who just didn't know what she was doing and so had no idea as to who's turn it was next or what activity people had signed up to do. After waiting an hour past our time slot one lady started to harness up a couple who had arrived after us and another couple who were waiting. I am always way too polite and shy so didn't say anything, I would expect that couple to be honest and say that we were before them, but they didnt. Mike however is not like me, he spoke up and so we only had to wait a little while longer for our turn. I couldn't look at the 'pushy in' couple the rest of the time we were there for fear of the evil glares that were no doubt being thrown at us.

It was good fun though, I'm glad I suggested it and grateful that Mike's mum paid for it.

Bad hair moment.. way to ruin the picture!

Flossy x

Push

Yesterday was one of the best days of my training so far. I got to witness a baby being born. As part of my training I have a week in different maternity wards and clinics to get comfortable and learn more about child birth. Before yesterday when we watched videos and had classroom training childbirth made me feel quite ill. I thought it was disgusting and it almost put me off wanting children. Yesterday however I got so into it I found myself pushing along with the mum. I don't think I've ever willed someone on that much before. When she got tired and started to give up I was encouraging her and pushing her on. I could have easily cried when it was all over, it was the most emotional experience I have ever witnessed. Baby's daddy was fantastic he stayed by mum all the time, he did everything he possibly could for her. I think it's very hard for the men when the women are in labour they don't know what to do or say and when they do something they get snapped and shouted at. It must be very hard to watch someone you love in that much pain. This dad took it in his stride and kept encouraging her, getting her lots of drinks, cooling her down and sacrificing his hand as a stress ball. After a VERY long labour and a absolutely exhausted mum a gorgeous baby was born. I think mum instantly forgot all she had just been though and the look on her face was amazing. She and her husband were incredible and now they have a gorgeous baby to show off.

Flossy x

Rusty

I gave up playing badminton about 6 years ago after suffering a bad shoulder injury. It still hasn't healed properly so I can't play like I used to which is annoying because I absolutely love the sport. I used to play to a high standard and won a few tournaments. So having to give it all up is frustrating more than anything. I have been back to my club to play a few times since but I cant play more than 2 games before my shoulder hurts too much. Yesterday I played mike for the first time. He thought he was terrible but he was actually good, he improved a lot very quickly. I was a bit rusty and missed a lot of simple shots but I still beat him 6 times, luckily, I would have never heard the end of it I had lost. It's the only sport I can beat him at. Even though I did suggest a game of tennis and table tennis which he turned down... He's clearly scared of my amazing athleticism!


Flossy x

The Hunger Games

Yesterday I finally got to see the Hunger Games. I had been waiting to watch it with Mike and now that he is here (YAY) we went to see it. I wasn't blown away by it really,  I had such big expectations and I know in films they cut bits out and change things but because I had read the books I noticed these things a lot more and it just kind of ruined it for me . I did still really enjoy it and I will defiantly be going to see the next two. But I just felt like they missed things out which would have helped people maybe understand the characters a bit more . They could have easily made it very gory and graphic but I'm glad they didn't it was just right. I said to Mike half way through I think I could have played Katniss's character, mainly because I love the books but also because I would love to be in a huge film even though my acting skills are limited to charades level. I'm still glad I got to see it and am very excited for the next ones to come out. 

Flossy x

Relief

And breathe! Another exam is done and dusted. I think it went okay, the worst bit is always when people talk afterwards and compare answers. I was allowed 3 questions wrong and I think I may have 3 wrong so I just hope there's no more I haven't realised.

Afterwards to celebrate one of the girls birthdays and the end of the exam 5 of us went bowling. Clare bought her 4 year old son along, he is unbelievably cute! We played 2 games, and today I was not on form. I normally play really well and get a few strikes, today I didn't even get one . In the first game I came third then in the second game, I came last! LAST! Even Clare's son beat me, it was so embarrassing. I somehow managed to kick myself as I was walking up to bowl once so I'm going to put down my bad form to injury.

I was not ready for this photo, hence the Jazz hands.

I am now free to relax, and get excited for Mike's arrival Friday :) I cannot wait!


Flossy x

Just One Of Those Days

I just had one of those days today, were you just want to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. I had a big day in University today, it was a preparation day for my exam tomorrow. When I went to leave for Uni, my car wouldn't start, my battery was flat....great! My brother was in the gym and so I couldn't get hold of him so I couldn't jump my car off his for 30 minutes. But what made it worse was as I got out of my car I tripped and dropped my phone and my screen completely smashed! Luckily it still worked, I could just about read the screen. I stayed calm though and while I waited for my brother I rang my phone company and I managed to get a new one set out straight away so right now I'm waiting for it to be delivered..exciting! NEW TOY! I just hope I haven't lot any contacts or any information from my phone. I cant even play with it when it does get here because of my revision, I've got a tough exam tomorrow. Its my last practical one thankfully, just got a very hard written exam next week, one more essay then another written exam at the end of May and I'm all done.

  Oh dear! 

Defiantly not one of my best days, but hopefully that's all my bad luck gone for a while

Flossy x
                                                                     

March Madness

As part of Mike's attempt to make me American he told me I should fill out a bracket for March Madness. I think I'm right in saying its a massive tournament between all of the collage basketball teams. They all play against each other in an instant knockout tournament until you get the winner from the South and East and a winner from the West and Midwest. Then they play against each other until you get an overall winner. 

Brackets are just picking a winner from each game and then choosing who you think will win overall. I didn't have a clue when I was filling mine in. For the first round I just picked the higher ranking team, unless I really liked one name more than the other. Then I carried on my favourite name picking for the next rounds to choose a winner, until it came to the last few where I picked the teams I have actually heard of . There really aren't many...I've got a Kansas top and a Duke jersey, my brother has a Syracuse top too so those teams made it pretty far. I wish I knew who these teams actually are, I've made up my own names for them, which I think is way more fun. 

I picked Kansas to win against Kentucky, because of my top and Mike has the Jay-hawk sticker on his laptop.  

I'm actually getting quite into it. Not that I'm watching any of the games, but I can see my points going up. And Mike said this morning I was actually doing good. Him and his friends are playing against each other and right now I'm beating all of them :) Check me out! Some may call it beginners luck..I call it raw talent!  COME ON KANSAS!

Flossy x