Shaky Jake

I had my first ever interview for full time adult job yesterday. And I will be more than happy to never have another one again. It was so nerve-racking. I thought I had prepared well, I was happy with my knowledge and I had prepared a few answers so in that sense I was as prepared as I could be . I have such a hard time with my nerves though. I get nervous over anything and everything, and they do get the better of me. Most times I just feel horrendously sick and I become so shy.

There were 4 people on the interview panel, they were all lovely. None of them were there to catch me out or anything like that. But I just found it terrifying being sat in front of 4 people who are going to be the ones deciding if I get a job or not. Throughout the interview my voice did not stop shaking. It sounded like I was about to burst into tears at any moment. And because I was so aware of it, I think I stopped my answers short.

I hadn't realized just how much I had wanted the job, I knew I did obviously want one. Leading up to yesterday it hit home and I built myself up so much, that I was upset with how it went. I'm not confident about getting a job offer. I just hope they take me nerves into account, and I hope I came across how I wanted to and my answers were good enough. They said they were going to start ringing people hopefully at the end of next week to let them know the outcome. That is going to be one scary phone call, and potentially very awkward if the answer is no. So next Thursday and Friday I am not moving from a spot where I have signal which is hard in my house. But I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed, and try to keep myself busy so I don't just sit here and over think it.

In the mean time I am just relaxing, which is all well and good for a day or two but after that it quickly gets boring. I'm trying to do some voluntary work, next week I have a meeting with a local organisation to try and see whats around for me to do. I really want to work with old people, but I would really enjoy working with children. I'll just see what they have available and what they think will be most suitable for me. But now at least I have a chance to work through my to do list that has been building up for the last 2 years. I am dying to wallpaper my room, which is going to be amusing. And I really want to get fit, I'm currently looking at gyms to see which ones I can afford.

Come on next Thurdsay!!!

Flossy x